bill murray

10:51pm: last night of vaction and i am sick. i was in denial about being sick for a good while but now it is evident that whatever keary had when he left, I now have.

SO, for the past 3 weeks, I have been constantly on the road. CONSTANTLY. I was with Keary every day which was awesome. Were at the old married couple stage right now which is good. Were really comfortable with each other. I have too many stories to try and even get started so ill just say, we laughed we cried, it was all great. and now hes in NC again and is going to Iraq shortly. For those of you that are somewhat religious, keep in your prayers, kay?

New years resolutions:

Come home more on weekends im able to.
Do a kick ass job on my directed study in painting.
Get some kind of part in the spring play.
Try and stay on good terms with my mother.
Avoid all contact with my father.
Try to sell homemade jewelry and make some type of profit.
Get two more A's in chemistry. (and do better in other classes, blah blah)
Don't be shy around people I don't know/intimidated/scared by
Try to write/finish more songs..(one finished in the past 5 or so months is not okay)
Stop taking anything for granted.
Stop questioning myself so much.


hope everyone had a marvelous break.

Dont forget: Birthday is JANUARY 15th!
the big 18!

9:53am: well i cant come home this weekend. and that really bites. ill be home next thursday though...im not gonna be able to go out anywhere though because im leaving for NC the next day, and my mom wants me to do christmas stuff with her. People can probably come over there though, and we can make christmas cookies, yay!!! and band practice, yay!!!!!

im skipping the next two periods and going to health services and sleeping..i have a quiz in precalc and i dont know anything. You could say im one dumb shit. This year is actually going by relitivly fast, faster than last year at least. I cant wait to start my directed study in painting and finally get back into art.

does it make me a bad person if i give a gift to someone that was given as a gift to me by someone else? Hmm..secret santas in the dorm tonight and I have 0 dollars and a nice bath and body work type thing Mary gave me when she came to see me in Oedipus.( my moms friend) I dont know what else I would give. Maybe a nice candy cane? But I think that may be kind if shitty...were supposed to spend at least 5 dollars...

so whats wierd is ive started talking to my dad. There was a lot of drama at first, when he emailed me out of no where and i responded with several angry angsty teen bitchy emails back. But now a couple weeks later were close to having normal conversations. This could be either really good or really bad.Hell either pull through this time, or he wont. If he doesnt...i would be really really upset.So he better not screw me over. I dont know why im trusting that he wont. Stupid, stupid me.

anyways...yay christmastime!